Don’t try to go trick-or-treating at the Apple Store

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My Upper East side friend took his gorgeous little son Bo trick-or-treating. Best freebie handout yummies were at Ralph Lauren. Obviously because first daughter Dylan stocked it with her storeful of candy. Good Halloween bags were also at Givenchy and Dernier.

Worst? The Apple Store. With enormous earnings, huge storefront, large presence, great name, big mouth, expensive ads, endless customers peeling off major bills, it gave nada. Nothing. Zippo. Zero. Not a chewy, not a chocolate, not a gummy, not a sourball.

Daddy and son got told: “Not here. We don’t do that. It’s against our policy. We give away no candy. We understand some children might be allergic. Something else could maybe also happen — therefore our legal department does not allow it. So we stopped that nine years ago.”

Crying, Little Bo peeped: “Apple . . . mean . . .”

Please try to pay attention

Margot Robbie, whose “I, Tonya” trailer is out, has a slate of newies coming and is clearly growing hotter. Next comes the shoot-em-up-rob-a-bank tale “Dreamland” . . .

Steve Martin, whom the Drama League honors at the Plaza on Monday: “Good point to being a celebrity is I can get a table in a restaurant. Bad point is that fans start videotaping me as I’m eating” . . .

Like car-obsessed Leno and Seinfeld, Nicolas Cage once told TVGuide.com: “When I was 4 years old I would plant my Hot Wheels collection in the hopes that they would grow into big cars.”

Bo’s kidding himself

Bo Dietl, who’s playing at running for mayor, in real life is playing at running for mayor in reel life. He just wrapped a bit part — that exact role — in directors Richard Grieco and Steve Stanulis’ killer thriller horror indie “Clinton Road.” At its Mondrian Park Ave hotel wrap party, voters actually gave “the candidate” advice on running the city.

Its cast includes Ice-T and Vincent Pastore. We are definitely not talking a fashionista film. New Jerseyites, forgetting about the movie, say this existing northern road is through woods and not only has trees and gullies but also dead bodies, and that the actual Clinton Road is a true bad lousy place.

Radio silence

In a public arena, facing a microphone, in a ballroom with a few hundred ears attuned, Sean Hannity: “Let’s remember the police on 9/11 and in Vegas. Let’s give the police the presumption of innocence.” Then, to a determined left-winger haranguing him: “Sir, I can’t help you. After 30 years on radio, I can tell that you obviously believe in bulls - - t.”

Here are all the answers

Listen, someone sent these to me. I’m not sure if they’re 100 percent true, but it may it start the conversation.

Why are tennis’ zero scores called love? Popular in France, its zero score resembled an egg. French egg is l’oeuf. US mispronounced it as love.

Why X ending a letter means a kiss? The Middle Ages signed with an X. A kiss was an oath to fulfill the document’s obligations. A kiss and X became synonymous.

Why are coin banks shaped like pigs? Long ago, European cookware made of orange clay called pygg were pygg banks. Eventually the container resembled a pig.

Why’s feeling great on Cloud 9? Cloud types number according to altitudes. Nine being the highest, on Cloud 9 means floating well above worldly cares.

Caddie in golf? King Louis built Mary Queen of Scots her first course outside Scotland. Her military cadets, pronounced cadays, became caddies.


Question: “What do old politicians do?” Answer: “They become lobbyists.” Exchanged at the entrance into a hotel ballroom.

Only in New York, kids, only in New York.

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